I rushed from Terminal 4 to meet
him. Travel worn I stopped to get some coffee and then dragged myself to the restrooms to hastily prepare to meet him. Quite a sight for the others coming and going I’m sure... I positioned myself at the gate to wait for him and got the text ‘Here Somewhere.’ The waiting for those few minutes was longer than the entire trip and I had time to grow nervous. I watched the people coming in through the gate my heartbeats quickening as each shadow fell across the door– and still no sight of him. I began to wonder if I was in the right place or worse yet, if I had somehow failed to recognize him. I was encouraged when someone approached me to ask if this was the place to wait for arrivals from Scotland. I figured that as long as that guy was waiting, I hadn’t missed anything. I moved to a different place away from the crowd keeping my eye on the others awaiting arrivals. My nervousness melted into impatience wanting only to have those first moments, wondering how it would go. Then suddenly he appeared.
He went first in the direction opposite to where I was, making me anxious to get his attention. I watched him look for me and in my nervousness said ‘Hey.’ Not too loud I thought but he looked at me, nodded acknowledgement, and came in my direction. I thought to myself, ‘How could I have worried that I wouldn’t recognize him. His every feature is imprinted in my mind and he looked as handsome as ever, so handsome, and so familiar. My love for him swelled inside me when his eyes met mine bringing a smile to my face. As he stood in front of me I remembered he’d said the first ten minutes would determine the rest. I prayed he’d feel the same connection, familiarity, warmth that I did. His scent surrounded me as he put his arms around me and when he held me I knew I belonged to him. I sank into the strength of his embrace, I felt all of his heart and mind with mine, and I felt so safe. I had waited months for that one embrace and it contained all the shared moments, the hopes, the dreams, the struggles. Each second that we touched, his lips against mine, his hands on my back, were the sweetest I have ever known. We were alone together in the business of the airport. I could feel his shaking calm as we stood there those ten minutes and I smiled to myself when he said I was littler than he thought. His embrace tightened around me and I felt reluctant to let go of him to make the journey to our resting place. I felt I could stand there with him forever.
As we rode down the elevator I could feel him looking at me. I fought off my shyness and looked into his eyes still hoping he’d find me to be what he was looking for and wondering what he was thinking. After the long walk to the platform to wait for the train I sat down on the curb to rest and he kneeled down beside me. He gave me a magazine to read, so I pretended to read it while he focused his attention on me. His looks and his strokes felt so good but I stood so he wouldn’t have to be uncomfortable and he wrapped his arms around me again. I felt his love wash over me and there was something quite special about those moments by the train tracks, not saying goodbye, but saying hello. In those moments I felt our new beginning. Shuffling onto the train I felt that we were shining so brightly that everyone around us could see what was happening. I felt so open and vulnerable as he looked not at me but into me. Every fiber of my body was aware of him. I was looking out the window, not really seeing anything and acutely aware of him. I didn’t want to interrupt his study of me though I was nervous under it. I knew he grew worried in the silence so I took his hands in mine to let him know I was there with him though my shyness quieted me. I was thinking of him. Of how he is the man I love, that I knew him and he knew me. We weren’t strangers meeting for the first time at all. We were old friends already with shared secrets and dreams, knowing each other’s likes and dislikes, knowing each other’s shades. Coming to stand by his side felt so natural.
Standing in line, I felt so happy to be with him, to be held by him. A silly thing maybe, but I liked being there with him. There are little things about being alone that you notice and standing in line watching other pairs is one of them. So it felt special that little thing, standing together and being able to prod him ahead. I think it will still feel special when the years have passed. Just like his special attention to me on the next train where he kept his hand free to balance me against the movements of the train. The look in his eye had deepened and it became easier to look into them after these little moments of togetherness. All of our loose ends were being tied up in these ordinary things. Ordinary things that became the finishing touches on the beauty we had been creating.
