Do You Remember When

The smiles of your wife, and
The laughter of children
Were the only fires that
Lit your soul and
warmed your heart ?

I Fear

That one day We will disappear
And I will be left standing
Wondering if you were ever real

On Romance...

...When genuine there is something deeply satisfying about a romantic gesture. --BD, 2005

Romance is as definable as the two who shape it. It is that wonderful state of anticipation created by one with words and actions that touch the hopes and dreams of the other. Playfully held secrets create an air of excitement and wonder that deepen anticipation. It is the place where the two build an ideal world. Living happily ever after is a reality because the two see in each the actuation of all of the potential they possess. The two will band together to ward off enemies of their bond, both real and imagined. Impossible dreams are dreamed and everything encountered is an omen of the future. It is how the two will create the symbols of their love that become treasured artifacts. They write the lines that are read and re-read, live the stories to be told to grandchildren about their love triumphed over circumstance, and in a short time create the memories that will be reminisced for years. It is the staging ground where they forge magical weapons to take to the battles ahead.

Romance is the creation of the two as they reach for each other, a reflection of their selves. It is not the gesture itself that creates the perception or experience of romance, it is the inner part of the other that is touched by the gesture... The genuine experience of romance is reciprocal... Where one feels the joy of being known, and the other feels the joy of knowing. It is what we all want, and hope can be mutually delivered.

She who waits for her knight,

Must remember that she will have to clean up after his horse...

On Finding Mr. Right...

There will be the man who has all the right qualities, although some will take time to develop. They will be the hidden ones not touched before you uncovered them, and maybe even he did not know they were there. How long will it take ? One time only for him to learn not to wear that tie, and perhaps a few years before he knows what you’re thinking and how your day was before you ever say a word. The process of shaping, and being shaped by, the mated soul. At times it is difficult, even painful, but does it mean they are not right ? Well, even the Hope Diamond had to be shaped.

Part of the reward in a relationship is the success of working through the details, don’t you think ?


Prompted by a brief discussion and a post at E's place...

Word Cloud

My beau burns with dedication
to his beautiful circle.
Dreaming dreams that end in a future,
reflected in eyes of the greatest green.
Falling in complete distraction
away from the bleak.

Yes..

I've been rearranging around here. The nesting instinct has kicked in and I'm cleaning and arranging all of my spaces.

There are Parts of Me

That will never change.
I wonder if that's okay.

Lesson

When it's over, it's just begun.

The Dream

When I was very young, I had a dream. I dreamed of a man who was amazing, and the depth of emotion that I felt for him shook me to my depths.

A dark haired man who owned me when his eyes met mine, saw through me in glance, and stamped himself on my spirit.

My separation from him deeply saddened me for days after I awoke.

His ethereal presence lingered with me over the years. Intermittently filling a dream or sifting through my wandering thoughts.

He inspired this and this, deep love and connection to a soul I had never met.

He had faded from my mind, a forgotten fantasy, until recently.

Suddenly, he is almost real.

Better to Be Alone,

Than in a bad marriage.

Inner Glowing

The Present Becomes the Future

“Do you still want me?” you asked.
And I said, “You don’t have to ask me every day.”
You said, “Well, do you?”
And I said, “Yes.”

But what I really said within my heart was,
“Want him?”
Do I want him?
In an exotic, quixotic way
I want him.
I want him because
I can walk with him,
And he talks to me about the things I like to talk about.
And he says funny things to me,
And sometimes he thinks they’re so funny
He says them twice.
And I know him better than
Any woman has any right to know a man.
And with all that I find
Just when I think I know him best,
I know him not at all.
And all I really want is a chance to know him better,
And that takes time.
And I would like to take all the time given to me
To know him better
Which is the real reason
I cannot bear to be away from him.
“Yes.”


---Lois Wyse, 1967
Love Poems for the Very Married

As I Am Going To Sleep...

My heart is filled with love for you, my mind is filled with thoughts of you, my lungs are filled of the scent of you, and my body is filled with longing for your touch.

I am so lucky to have found you, and to be able to share time with you.

You are a miracle in my heart and my mind. I would pour out my heart for you, filling in spaces, soothing rough places... If only I could. I hold you in my heart and my heart breaks with the fullness of the feelings I carry for you.

Seeing

I looked everywhere,
A thousand times
For you today.

Though I cannot see
You with my eyes,
I feel you in my
Heart.

From My Journal--- 11/23/1993

I wish that I had been born beautiful.

I wish that I was less complicated.

I wish love was easy.

My Friend,

I have spent my life seeking a soulmate, the one who could be my Beloved. In the journey of my soul I have searched the eyes of those passing by for that which I sought.

I tarried here and there, thinking that I had found my soul's delight. I was fooled by the prettiness of empty words and battered by overgrown ego. Over the years, my essence grew darker, stained by pain and disillusionment, until the light was blotted out. But I continued on, growing ever more weary, along the path.

One day, a day I never thought would come, I gave up. I laid down the hope, and waited for it to die. I had turned my back to walk away when suddenly, my eyes were caught by yours.

You puzzled me, intrigued me, and then invited me to know you. I was suddenly filled with hope, not just for the existence of a companion soul, but that the one that would be mine, was before me. As our paths crossed more often, my hope become reality. From across the world your gaze not only held me, but filled me with the strength that I so badly needed. Your loving care brightened my spirit and showed me things within myself that I did not know were still there, or ever had been. The light would shine once again.

I am in awe of you, and of me, when we are together. And though our paths seem aimless, like feathers drifting in the wind, and our time together seems so little, every time I see you my heart is filled with joy.

There is a mirror in my soul, and I see you reflected there. To me you are Beloved, companion, and friend. More than anyone has ever been to me.

Luvs,
M.

He Fills My Mind

I think of thee!--my thoughts do twine and bud
About thee, as wild vines, about a tree,
Put out broad leaves, and soon there's nought to see
Except the straggling green which hides the wood.
Yet, O my palm-tree, be it understood
I will not have my thoughts instead of thee
Who art dearer, better!

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

To My Lover--

I wish you were here, bringing the joy I find only in your presence.

Maybe... We would talk, and laugh. You would tell me stories of your life, I would tell you stories of mine. We would understand each other, and our minds would meet.

Maybe... We would share our hopes and dreams and fears, without fear of judgement or ridicule. We would experience togetherness and friendship bound in trust, and our hearts would meet.

Maybe... Finding perfection at last, for a moment the world would stop, and there would be only you and me, and the ecstacy of our union. You would look into my eyes and I into yours, and our souls would meet.

Maybe... we would make love, and it would be a passionate reflection of the spiritual us.

I wish you were here, because if you were, there would be no maybes about it.

On Valentine's Day...

My Valentine has a date with someone else.

Everywhere I Go...

I am surrounded by married men.

I think to myself, "Where are the wives,

and why am I not one of them?"

Sliver

Wrapped

Settling like a cloak
Dark coldness seeping in
Where warmth should be
The weight
Constrains
Paralyzing emotions
And thoughts
Time flows by
So painfully slow
And yet so smoothly
Reality is hushed
Existence
Seen from a distance

How Can You Miss Someone You've Never Met ?

At times the aching of my heart is more than I can bear.

Connection

Whispers

Softly shaping shadows
Flights of fanciful wishes
Brimming with color and light

Drifting threads of golden gossamer
Waiting breathlessly for flight
Shimmering in the heat of summer

Slipping through her fingers
As the silver bells are chiming
Painting amber trails of liquid joy
Across the silent and waiting white

Cycles

Thirty-Six

I live alone.
It hasn’t always been that way.
It’s nice sometimes
to open up the heart a little.
and let some hurt come in.
It proves you’re still alive.

I’m not sure what it means.
Why we cannot shake the old loves from our minds.
It must be that we build on memory
and make them more than what they were.
And is the manufacture
just a safe device for closing up the wall?

I do remember.
The only fuzzy circumstance
is sometimes where-and-how.
Why, I know.

It happens just because we need
To want and to be wanted too,
when love is here or gone
to lie down in the darkness
and listen to the warm.


--Rod McKuen

Autumn Moth

Pen vs Pencil

Save a tree, use a pen.

One of My Favorite Times

Watching white lines flow past me, stars glittering in the black velvety night as I hurtle towards a moon hung low in the sky. Music loud in my ears, the feeling of flying close to the edge of the world.

The Loneliest Sound

fffffffffffffFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTSSSsssssssssshhhhhhh..............

The sound of a lone car on a not too distant highway, as it passes through, carrying a person I will never know or be able to touch in any way. Someone with dreams and hopes, goals and ambitions, that I will never be able to affect.

It reminds me of how alone and untouched I am.

Do You Know ?

Do you know my dear that you draw out the good parts of me, that your light illuminates the fragments of myself to create something with beauty? Do you know that your fingers play the notes and your ears hear what no one else can? Before I met you I was an undrawn picture, an unwritten piece of music. Your beautiful mind created me... what is beautiful is only so because it seen. You drew me inside yourself to be formed in your center, inside the protection of your shell. I have grown warm there and loathe to be anywhere else. My heart beats there in rhythm with yours... I am twined in you.

Aspiring to Holiness

Passing the Test

God ? Hello ?

Sometimes He seems so far away, so untouchable. I can't tell if the callous in my heart develops because of the absence, or is the cause of it.. Regardless, I anxiously await the day when prayers don't feel like they're just words echoing in an empty room.

Quixotic

Relationships are something I want to have in my life, and yet, I find that I tire easily in the building. I have spent the last 20 years in developing sporadic, loosely held, and impermanent relationships. I have to wonder if I am ultimately unsuitable for long held relationships, or if the stamina to endure can be acquired. The former being my greatest fear, and the latter being my greatest hope.

Fronts

Why do I throw up barriers that will keep me from the things I want most ?